Writing my own story...

This post is probably overdue. I have been debating whether or not to write this all out but a discussion with Corey tonight about our future prompted me to tell my story...

Last February (2010), on a routine trip to the OB/GYN, my doctor had more concerns than normal with my health. My cervix was discolored and seemed to be not in the condition it should have been. She made the decision to do some tests to check what might be going on. I wasn't due for any tests until June but she said it was urgent we find out what may be causing the change. I was so nervous for what might come of these tests. I sat up night after night wondering what my body could possibly be doing to me and researching every possible outcome I may have. Many of you know that I am absolutely a doctor's best friend and always find a way to have something wrong with me. However, this time more than any, I was open I would have a clean slate. One week later, I got a phone call with a voice on the other side telling me something I would have never expected to here.

Cancer cells on my cervix! Definitely not the result I was looking for! In order to understand how scary this situation was, I need to explain to you how this diagnosis works. Most average women have cancer cells on their cervix that exist with no action or multiplication. It may show up during their annual tests or may not, depending on their activity level. When cancer cells do show up on the test, they grade the amount in levels. These levels are non-existant, mild, moderate, high, pre-cancerous, and cancer. When my diagnosis came last year, I was ranked at the pre-cancerous level! Thoughts of how this would affect my life rushed through my head in one giant blur. What was I going to do now?

The doctor said it could be treated a few different ways and we would schedule a cryo-freeze for our first try. With the cryo-freeze, the doctor would go in and freeze the outer layers of my cervix and then pull those layers off in attempt to remove the cells. Because I was headed to South Korea for the summer, we scheduled my surgery for the week I got back. This was important for me to treat ASAP so that it did not advance any further.

Although I was having an amazing time in Korea, it was always in the back of my mind what could happen. Did we catch it too late? Would this affect my ability to be a mother later in life? WHO KNOWS!!! That week leading up to my surgery, I couldn't help but think of the worse. The morning of, I sat in my bed and prayed for the best. When reading the description of the procedure, you probably thought of how painful that it could possibly be and it absolutely was the most painful thing I have ever been through. The doctors told me to take some aspirin beforehand but it definitely did not stop me from feeling completely sick to my stomach and having to make my grandma pull off the freeway on the ride home because of my nausea. I laid in bed the whole rest fo the day hoping that this was all my body needed.

In January, I went back for my check-up. More tests to see if the treatment had worked. Another week passed and my results came back as still pre-cancer. We scheduled another, less painful form of treatment during one of my routine visits to see if maybe my body just needed a little bit further of a push. Definitely no pain this time! Again, I prayed that my body and health would be in my favor this time around.

July rolled around and presented me with my yearly check-up tests. The few weeks before, I explained my health situation to Corey thinking that he would support me like always, and of course he did. We both were concerned about the future but hoped for the best. The morning of my tests, he texted me saying "I know today is going to work in your favor. I'm here for you no matter what the outcome is and I always will be." What a sweetheart!! I walked into that doctor's office with the confidence that I was going to be just fine.

Corey and I both anxious waited for a phone call from the doctor letting me know whether or not I was okay. I was told only a few days and when I hadn't heard anything, I decided to make the phone call to the office on my way to class, just in case the results had come back and they hadn't gotten around to calling me yet. The nurse was busy and had to call me back. I finally got a phone call the next morning. I was at my internship site and had to wait until break to listen to her voicemail.

After hearing her speak, all I could do was cry.... in tears of HAPPINESS!! COMPLETELY CANCER FREE BABY!!!! My test came back at the non-existent level!!!! I was completely speechless! I called Corey to let him know that my health was completely in control. The emotion behind the words coming from him painted a picture of an extremely happy man with a smile ear to ear. I think he was almost more excited than I was! The next phone call was to my mom, who was more than happy as well to hear the AMAZING news. My dad was home when I got there so I got to tell him in person. He could see from the tears in my eyes that I was on cloud nine.

All throughout the day, Corey kept texting me, telling me how much he loved me and how nothing could bring either of us down from our high horse at that moment. Hearing him as happy as he was made me even more excited than I already was.



So I sit here today, writing this blog, completely cancer-free, knowing that my future will not be controlled by some stupid cells! I kicked cancer's @$$! I also sit here today, asking all of you to make sure you check your body out daily! You never know when something unexpected might turn up and it'll be the decisions you make that will either turn that something into a speed bump in the road or a complete detour! I'll tell you one thing... this is just a speed bump in my road because I am writing my own story!



“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.”
-- Lance Armstrong

Recipes!!!!

I decided today that I am going to take on the task of starting my own recipe binder...... SOOOOOO excited!!!! Living with my dad, I have cook books all over this house. However, when I get a craving for something, I don't want to have to dig through them all or try to remember which book that the one recipe I wanted was in. By having my own recipe binder, I'll have a whole collection of our favorite things at the tips of fingers!! So if you guys have any blogs with fun recipes on them, send them my way! I say blogs because most recipe blogs come from moms that have to make quick, healthy meals for their families and they are normal much more simple than complex recipes from technique chefs with ingredients you can only buy in one store in the whole city! Send them my way people!

Before Corey left for Maui, we were not very good with our eating habits. With both os us working and me having a crazy school schedule, our meals were always whatever we could get quickly and easily.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN when he comes home. We are both making the commitment to be in the healthiest position possible. I constantly wish I was back down to as small as I was at ASU.

So we've come up with a plan. Gym 4-5 days per week and eating at home AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!! The day he gets home, this all will start. By the holidays, no one will be able to recognize us because we are going to be in the best shape of our lives.

Healthy bodies, here we come!!!




"Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.”
- Gautama Siddharta (founder of Buddhism)

Support System

On Thursday, I came in contact with a situation that would be the first of many to come I'm sure. It caught me of guard and over the past couple days I have been contemplated if I handled it correctly or what I might have done differently. It's been contributing to me not sleeping, besides the fact that since May 15th I've had to sleep in my bed alone without my cuddle partner. What better way to get it out of my head than to blog about it!

As many of you know, I am now on my 3rd semester of graduate school at UNLV, pursuing my Masters degree in Community Mental Health Counseling with concentrations in Addictions and Trauma. Going into this program, I was completely convinced I wanted to work with professional athletes suffering from addictions. I knew this would combine my two passions in life, sports and helping others. However, our program gives us many options to explore ALL areas of counseling and gain experience in different fields.

In January, when I needed to choose a site for my practicum, I knew I wanted to challenge myself by working with veterans. My advisor convinced me that U.S. Vets would be the perfect site to not only work with Vets, but also see the main sides of their lives that were causing problems besides addictions and homelessness. When he said the clients there would keep me on my toes, he definitely wasn't kidding. I loved being around them and hearing their stories on a daily basis. They were men and women who had gone from having no hope to being completely full of it. For this reason, I decided to officially become an intern for the next stage of my program.

This summer was the start of my 600 hours in internship experience. Luckily, its approved for us to do 200 of those hours over summer instead of all of them in fall. If I had to do 600 hours in one semester, I might not have any hair come December and I'm sure Corey would not be too happy about the time he would get to spend with me. With him gone in Hawaii, I could fully concentrate on getting the most of this experience.

Because of the nature of the program, clients come and go. One week you might see them and have an AMAZING session, and the next week find out they graduated without telling you or were discharged for breaking program rules. I've lucked out with a couple steady ones that I have definitely learned a great deal from. And yes, they keep me on my toes 24/7 because I never know what it going to come out of their mouth. Lucky for me, having four brothers and a HUGE family, they aren't going to say anything I haven't heard before. Thursday would present my biggest challenge!

There are only a few occassions where it is okay for me to break confidentiality with my clients. They are all very aware of what those situations are before they even say anything to me and I remind them of that at the beginning of every session. Thursday I had to break confidentiality for the first time for several reasons and was scared out of my mind to do so. For purposes of not disclosing what happened and keeping damage to a minimal, let's just say 911, the cops, an ambulance, and several case managers were involved. I will not be seeing this client anymore either. The staff couldn't have been more happy with how I handled everything and were very proud of me.

I went back and forth all night on Thursday wondering if this client was going to get the help he needed now. I felt bad in the sense that I did not make the progress I wanted to with him. However, that is probably going to happen a lot in my profession. This situation reassured me that I cannot go into my sessions expecting a certain outcome because I probably won't see it. I need to walk into them knowing that I am only going to be able to help them as much as our relationship will allow.

I have stated this several times that I know I am in the right place at the right time. My life couldn't be more perfect right now. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me no matter how crazy I can be sometimes. I have a small group of people I call best friends, friends that will continue to add humor into my life. I am part of a nation-leading academic program that will pave the way for my future in a good direction. I will walk at graduation in May with a MASTERS degree at the young age of 25, way ahead of the curve. I get to intern at a government-funded program that is the best use of the United States' money that I could think of other than education. But most of all, I have a family that will love me after any decision I make, whether they agree with it or not.

This summer and my internship have truly made me realize the importance of support systems and how meaningful they can be to the growth of a human being. I have been fortunate enough to always have people backing me! My support system guides me in the right direction on a daily basis and not many people have that. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

So thank you support system.....You mean more to me than you will ever know!!!!



“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
- Howard Thurman

He Gets Me....

I haven't written on here in quite some time so I felt it was about time to update this baby with something that is on my mind...

Back in March, my boyfriend Corey was offered a chance to move to Maui for the summer to give his baseball career one last shot. After numerous nights of discussions, we felt this was an opportunity he could not pass up and needed to pursue it. We had two months to soakup everything we could before he would be gone for four. I knew it was going to be difficult having to control a long distance relationship, especially at this early in the game, but I knew I wanted with all my heart for it to work.

His last few days here, we tried to spend as much time together as possible. I made a question box, filled with over 250 questions, to give us conversation topics for every night he would be gone. We planned one last going away dinner with friends and family. The look on Corey's face when he saw that all 20 people that said they were coming to dinner actually showed up, was completely priceless. He knew that these people would be supporting him in pursuing his dream, just like I was. I knew at that moment that we were doing this for all the right reasons. We spent our last night together in a massive suite at the Palms, cuddled up in bed. Neither one of us wanted to say goodbye.

I dreaded taking him to the airport as we packed up in the car because I knew what that meant. I knew it meant that I wouldn't get to see my best friend every day, like I had been for the past 2 months. I knew it meant that our relationship would now be made up of phone calls, texting, skype dates, and care packages. But I also knew it was going to work because we both wanted it to. I choaked back tears as I accidentally drove Corey to the wrong terminal! (He probably thinks I did it on purpose!) We got to the right terminal and after an almost two hour check-in process, I had to stand at the bottom of the escalators and tell him "See Ya Later." I just kept repeating in my head "You can do this. No crying. Hold it together for him." I handed him his surprise present and walked out the door, bursting into tears as soon as I could put my sunglasses on. It took me some time just sitting in my car to realize that this day had come. With a few texts before he got on the plane, it had become official. Maui for the summer for him while I worked my butt off for school here in Vegas.

We quickly got down a routine. Texts in the morning when we got up, calling as often as we could around our schedules. We made sure to have at least 3 nights per week to do questions from our box and have full conversations, either on the phone or through skype. It was defnitely reassuring that although I missed him, I still felt like he was here. Sure, there were nights that I really just wanted to be laying in bed completely wrapped around him. However, the countdown of days to my first trip to see him helped me through it all.

My first trip to Yuma seemed like it was WAY too short. We had four whole days together but it wasn't nearly long enough. The smoke from the Yuma fire made it nearly impossible for me to be outside for the games. I would have toughed it out had Corey been pitching but I missed seeing him by a few days. Lots of time was spent just holding his hand because I didn't want to let it go EVER. Only two minutes into my roadtrip back home and I was already counting down to the next trip. I knew this break was going to be the hardest though, with it being a whole 7 weeks apart.

My relationship with Corey means everything to me and everyone around us can see that. Corey's teammates laugh at how close we are because they thought we've been together much longer than we really have. It helps that we were friends for 4 years before even attempting more. He truly has become my best friend (Sorry Sammy and Rachel but he is catching up to you guys!). Just like any other couple, we have our fair share of fights because we are both extremely stubborn and challenge each other all of the time. The difference with us is that we immediately talk it out (no arguing) and figure it all out. We don't let it sit and build up. We are each others' biggest supporters and that is the most important element to our relationship.

I have had some health concerns over the past year and I have never seen more support from someone outside of my family than what I get with Corey. Nothing will ever compare to the text and reaction I got from him the morning I found out I was offically cancer free. I think he was more excited than I was. I wish I would have been able to see the smile on his face because I could tell by our phone conversation that he was grinning ear to ear. I am so excited to see what the future holds for us.

We have 18 days left on this countdown and they cannot come any quicker. I get a whole week with him on this trip! Time better start flying by because I am ready to be in his arms again!

Here are some pics of Corey from the summer!! ALOHA!



Corey and Robert - a minister who was in front of us at the airport in Vegas and was Corey's travel buddy on the plane. He now goes to some of Corey's games and has been an awesome friend for him to have on the island.



Corey pitching - Luckily I get to see him pitch this next time in Yuma. It's been over two years since I've seen him throw and I am soooo excited!

By the way....
We are also halfway done with our summer!!! YAY!!!! Only 9 weeks until Corey's season is done and he is home with us!!!



“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”
-- Unknown author